Valentine's Day: for the romantic souls among us, a day to pamper your loved one extra (or even better: be pampered yourself!). For others, a day that makes it painfully clear that there is no one who brings flowers, chocolate and the perfect kiss. This year we're taking a different approach. Fall in love with yourself this Valentine's Day! Valentine's Day does not have to be about the love of and for others. The most important relationship? That is the relationship with yourself, which also determines the quality of the other relationships in your life. Loving yourself is important, and not just on February 14, but on every day of the year.
Put yourself first
Maybe you are now thinking: 'self-love? Isn't that selfish?'. As women, we are queens of putting everything and everyone first: the kids, our partner, the house, the dog, our car, our career… At the end of the day we are so exhausted that there is no time whether energy remains for ourselves. How often in our childhood were we told 'first the others, and then yourself'. Caring for others is in our DNA. But… do you know that story about the oxygen mask and the plane crash? Only those who first put on their own mask in the event of a crash can help someone else. Well, it's the same in real life. You have to like yourself in order to like others. Being there for yourself in order to be there for others. So let go of that constant focus on others and try something new this Valentine's Day: focus solely on yourself today.
Schedule time for yourself
Journaling is hot! A while ago my team gave me a beautiful planner as a gift. Every week I try to consistently set aside time for myself. A long bath, a long walk with the dogs, a patio date with my bestie. By scheduling those moments, I am better able to stick to them. Try it too! Get out your planner (or your smartphone :-)) and schedule at least three hours of me-time this week. Time to read a book, binge watch your favorite Netflix series undisturbed, enjoy a long bath, take an online yoga class...
No time, you say? A week has 168 hours. Are you unable to spend three hours purely on yourself? Then make a list of where all your time goes. Write down everything you do for a few days: working, emptying the dishwasher, dating friends, visits to the supermarket, taking kids to their hobby, cooking, watching TV... Did you succeed? Now look at what (or who) you can and want to remove from your life. Which tasks can you delegate? Let the kids walk the dog, ask your husband to prepare dinner or opt for a meal box so you can limit your trips to the supermarket, look for a cleaning assistant... Or just skip the vacuuming and mopping more often. No cat will notice.
Accept yourself exactly as you are
Those buttocks could use a little tighter. And that haircut? There's really nothing that can be done about that now. And how does the house look again... Recognizable? Many women view themselves through oh-so-critical glasses. But that constant focus on your flaws – on what is wrong with you, your life, your body, your finances… – makes you stuck and drains all your energy. That negativity feels like you are carrying 50 extra kilos with you every day and prevents you from living life to the fullest. Stop judging yourself. Silence that critical voice in your head and be kinder to yourself. Don't wait for the perfect job, the perfect body, that great relationship or filled bank account to love yourself. You are amazing NOW, just as you are NOW. I strongly believe in the power of positive thoughts. How you feel and think largely determines what your day will look like tomorrow.
Accept yourself exactly as you are
Those buttocks could use a little tighter. And that haircut? There's really nothing that can be done about that now. And how does the house look again... Recognizable? Many women view themselves through oh-so-critical glasses. But that constant focus on your flaws – on what is wrong with you, your life, your body, your finances… – makes you stuck and drains all your energy. That negativity feels like you are carrying 50 extra kilos with you every day and prevents you from living life to the fullest. Stop judging yourself. Silence that critical voice in your head and be kinder to yourself. Don't wait for the perfect job, the perfect body, that great relationship or filled bank account to love yourself. You are amazing NOW, just as you are NOW. I strongly believe in the power of positive thoughts. How you feel and think largely determines what your day will look like tomorrow.
That inner little girl inside you who is terrified to try something new? That pleaser who just can't say no? The self-saboteur who shows up every time you get close to success? The victim who blames others for what goes wrong? Get rid of it!
This Valentine's Day (and on all other days :-)), look in the mirror, put on your best smile and greet yourself with 'hello, handsome!'. Yep, it feels a bit crazy at first, but after a while you will notice that a dose of self-love makes you feel good.
Take care of yourself
Those who are not happy with themselves are less likely to take good care of themselves. Figuratively and literally. No matter how tempting it is to twist your hair into a quick bun on balmy days and walk around in a cozy jog all day (especially in corona times!): it usually doesn't help you move forward. Just like eating a bag of chips doesn't make you feel good afterwards. Especially on days when you are not feeling well, it helps to pamper your body extra. Take a long shower, apply a nourishing body butter from head to toe, wear something flattering... Give your body some extra tender loving care. You only have one body. Take care of it.
Last but least: treat yourself to a gift
After a day of shopping, do you always come home with things for others? A cool T-shirt for your bestie, stockings for your sweetheart, pants for your kids... So recognizable! Make it a point to buy at least one item for yourself on every shopping trip. Can't find clothes that make you feel good? Then treat yourself to a new pair of earrings, a book, a bouquet of flowers... Give yourself a gift every month and start today. You deserve it!
No inspiration? I would like to tell you my favorite SELFcare pampering!
I wish you a cocktail full of love on Valentine's Day. Like to see yourself…. It's not always easy, but hey, no relationship comes easy. Will you promise me that you will start working on it on February 14?
