The most wonderful time of the year… The beautiful words of Andy Williams' Christmas hit sound a little less sweet this year. Christmas and New Year's Eve: for many, it equals (a lot of) food, drinks and, above all, a lot of fun with friends and family around them. That's just not possible this year. A bitter pill, but in addition to all those party lovers, there is also a large group of people for whom the end of the year is always particularly confrontational.
Lonely
Loneliness, the loss of a loved one, unresolved grief, a difficult bond with family... They often weigh more heavily on days of imposed revelry. In the years that I worked as a psychologist, I noticed that December is “the most difficult time of the year” for many. Loneliness does not necessarily mean that you are alone. You can also feel lonely at a festively laid table, surrounded by your husband, children or family... And the reverse is also true. Anyone who is alone does not necessarily feel lonely. It is not the number of people around you, but a lack of connection, dormant irritations and depression that lead to a feeling of loneliness. If there were a magic formula that would make that feeling go away in one-two-three, I would immediately take out my magic wand. But the reality is that sad feelings never disappear instantly, just as they don't creep into your head overnight.
Lonely
Loneliness, the loss of a loved one, unresolved grief, a difficult bond with family... They often weigh more heavily on days of imposed revelry. In the years that I worked as a psychologist, I noticed that December is “the most difficult time of the year” for many. Loneliness does not necessarily mean that you are alone. You can also feel lonely at a festively laid table, surrounded by your husband, children or family... And the reverse is also true. Anyone who is alone does not necessarily feel lonely. It is not the number of people around you, but a lack of connection, dormant irritations and depression that lead to a feeling of loneliness. If there were a magic formula that would make that feeling go away in one-two-three, I would immediately take out my magic wand. But the reality is that sad feelings never disappear instantly, just as they don't creep into your head overnight.
Put expectations aside
The perfect festive meal at the perfectly decorated festive table in your most beautiful outfit: the pressure to make something beautiful is high. Not meeting that perfect picture can cause a nagging feeling of loneliness. And our expectations also play an important role. Because anyone who works hard to make it a great party would prefer to see their efforts rewarded: with a compliment here and there and satisfied faces around the table. But guess what? You have absolutely no control over the reactions of others. Becoming aware of your expectations makes it easier to let go of them. And therein lies the key to being able to look at what is there.
Allow yourself to feel
Irritations, sadness... on days full of gold and glitter, there seems to be little room for gloomy feelings. Pushing your emotions away? That may work temporarily, but you are guaranteed to be presented with them again later. And often twice as hard. Allowing your feelings is a much better tactic. Maybe your sister, mother or friend is unknowingly struggling with the same thing as you and you find recognition in each other's story? Sharing your feelings and feeling that you are not alone is a relief. It makes things easier for yourself in the long run. Every house has its cross.
Take good care of yourself
Want to spend the holidays with lots of wine and food? Tempting, but the next day you will be presented with the bill. A heavy head and lifeless body, just when you could really use an extra boost. Don't be hard on yourself - we all cross the line sometimes - but be aware of the impact of your well-being. On the “day after”, put on your walking shoes for a fresh walk in the woods instead of immediately diving into the couch. You will notice that your head (and body) feels a lot lighter after that portion of oxygen. Afterwards, take a long, warm shower and give yourself some love by applying a rich body cream from head to toe (tip: our Body Butter is delicious). A portion of Self-love is not only good for your body but also your mind.
Whether you are one of the party lovers, party haters or somewhere in the middle: I wish you a lot of self-love these days. Don't overrun yourself, but make time for what you need. Be gentle with yourself.
Could you use a listening ear or do you need some ventilation? Feel free to send us a WhatsApp (0470 21 99 87). We will ALWAYS send you an answer!
Virtual hug,
Team SELF
